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Here I Am (gulp!), Lord!
by
Bill Walker
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
"Here I am, Lord
Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go, Lord
If you lead me
I will hold your people in my heart"
(Words and Music by Dan Schutte, 1981; adapt. by
Carlton R. Young, 1988)
A few years ago my dear friend, Robbie, gave me new insight into the
significance of this song. We must have been singing it in a service and
I told her how much I liked it. She said something like, “But have you
ever thought of the seriousness of the words—about what you’re saying
when you sing this song?”
And, therein, lies the beginning of another journey with the Lord…
I had to admit to her--and myself--that, no, I really hadn’t thought
much about it. The song is so upbeat and we usually sing it with such
enthusiasm that it gives the impression that I’m ready to do anything
for the cause of Jesus. “Send me anywhere, Lord! I’ll do anything! I’ll
go to Africa (or the popular third-world country of the month) and be a
missionary! I’ll lay my life on the line for You, Lord! I’ll drop
everything to serve you!”
But then I begin to sound like Peter—the pre-crucifixion version—ready
to walk on water, even get in front of Jesus’ face and stop Him from
going to the cross, or run out and cut off someone’s ear,. Peter was
ready all right—before the arrest actually came and he was recognized by
an adolescent girl.
Poor impulsive Peter. Yeah, and poor reluctant me! And perhaps I am not
alone in not really considering the cost of volunteering for duty.
The song comes from Isaiah 6, where the prophet says, “Then I heard the
voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’
And I said, Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8 NIV)
The Lord’s call can elicit varied responses from us, but basically they
seem to fall into one of two categories. The first one—the one Isaiah
gives—might be termed:
“What do you want me to do, Lord?”
To be fair, let’s look at the event that led up to Isaiah’s rush to
volunteer—with no details about what he was to do, I might add.
“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne,
high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him
were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their
faces, and with two they covered their feet, and with two they were
flying.
“And they called to one another: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory.’
“At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the
temple was filled with smoke.
“’Woe to me!’ I cried. ‘I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and
I live among the people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King,
the Lord Almighty.’
“Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which
he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and
said, ‘See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and
your sin atoned for.’
(Isaiah 6:1-7 NIV)
At this point, Isaiah, steps up front and center and volunteers.
Now, although none of us are probably called exactly as the prophet
Isaiah, he was just a human being—as are you and I. When I put myself in
his place—as little as I can imagine it and feel it, it’s a vast
understatement to say that this was quite an impressive scene.
Let’s say that any of us has witnessed such a spectacle. The often
overused word awesome comes to mind. Although it is used to describe
everything from a movie to a praise and worship song and more, surely no
one would argue that it is misused in this regard. In fact, it falls
short of describing the effect of being in the presence of, and
beholding, Almighty God. Moses could not see the face of God because it
would be fatal, but Isaiah apparently does such a thing and, naturally,
believes he is not long for this world.
Then his lips are made clean by one of the seraphim (highest order of
angels) who serve God.
THEN, Almighty God asks the all-important question. I’d like to think
that, under these overwhelming conditions that I, too, would raise my
hand in the air and wave it wildly like a kid who finally knows the
right answer in school and say, “Me, me! I’ll go!”
But then, I come back to the reality of my real life and I realize: Many
times I know as well as I’m sitting here that the Lord is calling me to
do something and yet…I…hesitate. Oh, if it falls into the category of
calling the equipped, I’ll gladly answer the call. “Yes, Lord, I’ll go.”
In fact, these times usually call for me to do something I know entails
the use of gifts and talents I know I have, and are well within my
comfort zone. To be honest, I don’t have to even wait for a call in
these situations but often tell Him, “Lord, let me serve here.”
Now, I’m saying this in full recognition that God does give us
particular gifts and talents and directs us in their use. And we are
expected to use them. He knows us better than we know ourselves and
gives us outlets for service which are useful in the Kingdom
and—surprise, surprise!—are even pleasurable to us. But doesn’t He equip
the called as well? Might we be called to step out in faith and do
something which does not seem to fit in with our individual gifts and/or
talents?
In those instances—when a challenge is presented in response to my “What
do you want me to do, Lord?” –that my question becomes:
“Lord! You want me to do WHAT?”
Now, Isaiah didn’t flinch when the Lord told him what the task was:
“He said, ‘Go and tell this people: ‘Be ever hearing, but never
understanding; be ever seeing. But never perceiving.’
Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close
their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.’” (v9-10)
I would probably have said something like, “Well, then…what’s the
point?” It looks like a waste of time and energy, as well as being
potentially embarrassing—or worse.
But then that’s me—not Isaiah.
The remembrance of Here I Am, Lord, and the experience with Robbie, came
to mind only recently. I’ve been rereading Prayer of Jabez by Bruce
Wilkinson. In writing about how God usually responds to our request that
He “enlarge my territory”, he says,
“As God’s chosen, blessed sons and daughters, we are expected to attempt
something large enough that failure is guaranteed…unless God steps in.
Take a minute to prayerfully comprehend how contrary that truth is to
everything you would humanly choose: it goes against common sense, it
contradicts your previous life experience, it seems to disregard your
feelings, trainings, and need for security; it sets you up to look like
a fool and a loser. Yet it is God’s plan for His most-honored servants.”
Wilkinson goes on, “For most of us our reluctance comes from getting our
numbers right, but our arithmetic wrong. For example, when we’re
deciding what size territory God has in mind for us, we keep an equation
in our heart that adds up something like this:
“My abilities + experience+ training + my personality and appearance +
my past + the expectations of others = my assigned territory.
“No matter how many sermons we’ve heard about God’s power to work
through us, we simply gloss over the meaning of that one little word
through. Sure, we say we want God to work through us, but what we really
mean is by or in association with. Yet God’s reminder to us is the same
one He gave the Jews when they returned from captivity to a decimated
homeland: ‘Not by might nor by power but by My Spirit, says the Lord of
hosts.’ (Zechariah 4:6)
“Our God”, Wilkinson continues, “specializes in working through normal
people who believe in a supernormal God who will do His work through
them. What He’s waiting for is the invitation. That means God’s math
would look more like this:
“My willingness and weakness + God’s will and supernatural power = my
expanding territory.”
For all his impulsiveness and reliance on his own strength, when Peter
stepped out of the boat in response to Jesus, he started out right, with
his eyes on Jesus. As long as he did that he was okay. It was only when
he considered the circumstances that he began to sink.
Lord, let me remember that I do nothing for you out of my own strength;
that it is not by my might nor by my power but by Your spirit. Today I
step out of the boat relying fully on You.
Today, let me join You in Your work.
Love,
Brother Bill
About the Author:
Bill Walker (Brother Bill) is the creator and webmaster
of
www.sarcalogos.com. Sarcalogos was created to offer Christian
encouragement and inspiration, as well as resources for Christian
Ministry. Letters such as this, by Bill and by others, can be found
here. You can contact Bill at
billwalker@sarcalogos.com
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