Loving Your Spouse With Wisdom
by
Angie Lewis
There are two ways we can love our spouse. We can love under our own
understanding of what we think love is, or we can love the way God
has directed us to love. I think we all know how to love, but doing
it is a whole different matter.
What is the difference between the two? The first way of loving
is a condition and learned way to love, which is selfish and self-seeking. We
don't know we are behaving selfishly because we do not know any other way to
love.
The second way of loving is what comes naturally
because we have loved and accepted God into our lives first. The reason
it's so natural is because we have recognized and utilized the spiritual
Christ in our lives, which makes loving a natural process of who we are.
It is very difficult to love another if we are only
thinking about ourselves. Some examples of how we love our spouse
selfishly are, committing adultery, being disrespectful, using
controlling behavior, using negative feelings, becoming resentful,
becoming ensnared in an addiction, and the list goes on.
False teachings on marriage and loose morals in society
have caused many couples to become bitter and apprehensive when loving
one another. Society has lost the value of what real love is and it has
tainted couples into sinful behavior. As we all know sin dampens our
love for God by turning our focus on ourselves. You cannot truly love
your spouse if you only think of yourself.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church
and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with
water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church
without stain, or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In
the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who
loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28
1. A Husband should be willing to sacrifice everything
for his wife just as Jesus Christ sacrificed everything for us. Do you
think a husband who loves God will be able to make his wife the most
important aspect of his life?
2. A Husband should make his wife's well-being of prime
importance. Do you think that if a man accepts Christ into his life he
will know how to love, protect, provide and care for his wife properly?
God will give him the answers he needs.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his
body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so
also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians
5:22-24
As you can see from scripture, both husband and wife are
called to submit. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband's
leadership in Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his own
interests in order to care for his wife properly. This means doing whatever
it takes to protect, provide, love, and care for his wife under the
"spiritual authority" given to him by God.
If a husband does not accept the "spiritual authority"
of God, then he has no justification to think that his wife submit to
him the way God intends for a woman to submit to her husband. Obviously
they are not basing their love under the foundations of Jesus Christ,
but under their own understanding of what they think love is, and this
scripture, therefore, does not apply to them.
Here is what couples usually tell me when they are
going through difficulties in their marriage. They want to do what is
right for their marriage. They are willing to work at the marriage but
don't know what to do about their problems. Their negative feelings
bring them down, and they are usually upset and furious over the
iniquities and faults of one another.
The problem is couples are basing their marriage upon
worldly views, attitudes, and thoughts, and the fact is, as long as they
continue to do so, they will continue to have difficulties loving their
spouse properly. When we are not motivated by love, we become critical of
our spouse. We stop looking for the good things in those we love and only
see their faults.
We can all talk about how to love and we know what the Bible
says about loving our spouse, but what about doing what it says! Bottom line is
real love takes effort, and if the willingness is not there to work on marriage
and to love our spouse with the love that comes natural, couples will have
problems.
The good news is you can love your spouse naturally and
wholly by recognizing and utilizing the foundations of God's design into
your relationship and working off of that for your marriage.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what
is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another
above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual
fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice
hospitality. Romans 12:9-13
About the Author:
Angie Lewis is the author of two marriage books.
"Journey on the Roads Less Traveled", a book about love, life, addiction, and marriage.
"Love The Man Your Married. This book tackles areas in marriage that couples need to know and
understand and apply for a successful marriage. This book is a most reliable resource for married
couples, from infidelity issues to complete forgiveness.
For more information on these books visit Angie's website and signup for the free monthly newsletter
while you're there!
http://www.heavenministries.com
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